Putin on The Way it Is

6 min readJun 20, 2022


Photo by Ignacio Correia 🔴 on Unsplash

The war rages on — almost 4 months now — inflation is hurting the world economy — food shortages are forecast — while Putin gloats in Moscow, ‘I made this happen,’ he says proudly.
‘I command the world’s attention. This is my moment. I have killed and killed Ukrainians and still millions and millions of people adore me and hold me up as a model. People in China, in India and all those smaller, peripheral countries destined to never amount to anything.
All the while China and I have a lock on the United Nations. Interesting organization… yes… and toothless, too. A place where every country can come in and blah blah blah until they run out of spit but where Russia and my great ally China hold veto power in the security council. So if we say no, then it is no. Never mind the secretary general. Without us he’s nothing.
The West talked about sanctions. I laugh. I have worked around them. I keep selling my oil and gas and our profits are growing.
And I have done it all because I know how to scare people.
I say I have nuclear weapons and most leaders pee in their pants, run around in circles crying, oh no, he will fire his nuclear weapons!
Don’t confront him, he’s dangerous, please, he cannot be humiliated!
Poor things. Afraid of a little inflation. Afraid of protests because the price of gasoline has gone up. I laugh. I would send the fire department with their water cannons to hose them down and wash them off the street and into the gutters, and those who insist on protesting I’d throw in a dungeon. That’s how you govern. And to be sure, Russians love my style. The want to be like me. Ha!
On this war, America started out with enthusiasm, with determination, but now they’ve lost their oomph. Now they’re back to their citizens complaining about the price of gas and how they don’t know any Ukrainians and how they’re so far away and what’s in it for them.
Of course, that’s when true leaders come in and set the record straight. Tell the complainers what needs to be done and why and enough with the whimpering. But they can’t do it. So it’s my game, all the way until I conquer all of Ukraine. All of it, damn it. All of it. And I’ll have Zelensky tried on charges of crimes again humanity. I’ll do it because no one will stand in my way.
What a joke the West is. Promising missiles and this and the other. But it takes them forever to deliver. Meanwhile I gain more and more ground. I love it. Before long I’ll have all of Ukraine’s eastern region under my foot. Beautiful. Then we’ll finish off occupying all their coast. Then back to Kyiv. Then push West, all the way to the borders with Poland and Rumania, scare them and their NATO bullshit.
I’m making the world my world. Slowly. This is the start of Putin’s world. And I’ve done it not with diplomacy but with bravado. With daring. With guts. With flair.
While the mighty West shits in their pants.’

He laughs.

Now, if I were them… from the very start I would’ve said, Putin, you can’t do it. Don’t do it. You’ll be sorry. Look, we have intelligence telling us you’re going to invade. We’re going to give planes and missiles to Ukrainians so they can defend themselves. We won’t let you slaughter them. Don’t do it.
But I can see how Ukrainians had not yet proven themselves on the battlefield. But they have now, so what’s the excuse to not give them all they need to fight me?
What’s amazing in their story, is they’re willing to fight so hard for what they believe. That’s what’s amazing. I would love to have them on my side instead.
The reason Ukraine is so important today is just that… the show of commitment in defense of what you believe.
But the world is not getting it. The French and Germans are not getting it.
The Poles, on the other hand, have got it. From the very start.
In fact the French and Germans seem to be in a hurry to sit down to negotiate a deal to cease hostilities. And Macron wants France to be the mediator. Works for me, since Macron doesn’t want me to be ‘humiliated’ but if I were Zelensky, I’d choose the Poles to be the negotiators. Doesn’t matter to me that much who it is because in the end, if it’s not going my way, I’ll get up and leave and start shooting and bombing again.
One of my greatest achievements, of course, is to have convinced Europe that they could rely on me for all their energy needs. Convinced them that I was not just a nice bear, but a teddy bear. And they fell for it. Mind you, all this time I have been teaming up with Assad in Syria to slaughter their opposition, so it’s not like I was hiding anything. We’re Europeans, not Syrians, it won’t happen to us, they told themselves. We’re so chic. Oh, so cultured. So distinguished. So unique. Oh, dear, you name it. Until it happened. Denial is the word for it.

He laughs.

I was born for this moment. As far as China is concerned, they’re stuck with me. Who else are they going to turn to? India? No. They can’t stand each other. China doesn’t have anywhere near the nuclear warheads I have, and I’ll keep close tabs on them. I’m going to keep building even more, and if they start to pile them up, too, I’ll give Xi a courtesy call, say Xi, you can’t keep building so many warheads. Look, we’ve been good friends but you got a whole lot more people than I have… so you could run me over… but so long as I have more weapons, you’ll have to chill. So please stall on the building of nuclear weapons. I know your politburo designated you a ‘historical figure’, but that’s the way it is.
And they will do as I say because, in a confrontation between the two of us, they don’t have a chance. I have the upper hand and will keep it that way’
Life is beautiful… yes, indeed.
As to the next American elections, haven’t made up my mind whom to campaign for, using my team of cyber experts. Not Trump, though. I think his time has passed. I liked him. But now I need someone with even deeper isolationist sentiments. Someone who wants to isolate into oblivion. Build a wall in the South, in the North, East and West. The more chances for Russia and my buddy Xi, to go deeper into Africa, South America, the Middle East, the rest of Asia.


But what could America do to counter me at this time’
Give planes to Ukraine? More missiles? Sure. But what they should do yet I know they won’t because they don’t have the nerve, is to make a commitment to Ukraine and say, we will give you anything you need, planes, missiles, anything — except troops, of course — because we want you to win. And if in the end you don’t win, we’ll settle for whatever land you were able to defend, and we’ll help with negotiations, even the lifting of sanctions on Russia and so on, and we’ll do what we say we will, because with your heroism, you have behaved like no other nation in recent history… and so earned a place in our hearts and minds. Forever.’

Please see Ifw-Kiel.de. Kiel Institute for the World Economy. Ukraine Tracker

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writer and psychiatrist with an interest in current affairs