Hey, man, I know you’re dead now, but I’m still going to have this conversation with you because it may help other people.
I read that you were from the Pittsburgh area, that you didn’t have friends, that you did well academically in high school and after graduating got an associate degree in engineering science from a community college. And you were working as an aide at a nursing facility — helping other people.
I’m both sad and angry that you made the choice you made this last Saturday.
The moment I saw your picture in the papers I thought, ‘this was a nice kid,’ so what happened?
I also saw your photo at your high school graduation ceremony, when after getting your diploma you looked right into the camera and smiled. You were proud of your accomplishment. And that was only 2 years ago.
What happened in between?
What happened that you chose to throw your life away?
The thought that comes to mind is you were very alone and didn’t have enough of a human connection.
When we don’t have that we get in trouble and start thinking strange thoughts and then anger rises and clouds our view.
Human connections are protective
The lack of them set you on the wrong path and before you knew it you had devalued yourself and all your possibilities.
Next you opened the door to devaluing others too, and from there it was just a step to thinking of giving your pain to them and the…
Writer and psychiatrist. Writing is thinking -> integrating -> connecting -> enhancing our being. Though we can think without writing.