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The world can be divided into two large groups: Those who blame their parents for their perceived deficiencies and those who don’t.
The second group is happier.
They’ve come to terms with the reality that parents are not perfect, some are deeply flawed, and all came from another set of parents with their own set of problems, so they have had their own difficulties to deal with.
The Greek Stoic Philosopher Epictetus comes to mind. In The Encheiridion he says,
‘To accuse others for one’s misfortunes is a sign of want of education,
To accuse oneself shows that one’s education has begun,
To accuse neither oneself nor others shows that one’s education is complete’.
Words to make one think.
Popular culture captures Epictetus’ essence in the saying ‘it is what it is.’
If our parents did harm to us, physical, psychological or both, we accept and work with it.
Getting revenge is a waste of time and energy.
Every one of us has a story of neglect, mistreatment or downright abuse. If you don’t then you belong to a very exclusive group.
Scars are real and they are obstacles but they’re also a way to hide from taking risks.
Would we — anyone of us — have been better off if our parents had not done this or done the other instead?
Maybe. Maybe not. And maybe our parents did the best they knew to do.
Risk taking is crucial for personal growth.
If a person likes another and doesn’t step up and take a chance to engage, then the opportunity will…
